?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Entries feed for mbarr

World Mental Health Day 2019 edition

This year’s theme is Suicide Prevention.

According to the World Health Organization, every 40 seconds someone loses their life to suicide.

Think about that. By the time you finish reading to this point someone has killed himself or herself. Not attempted to but succeeded. Who knows how many attempts are in those 40 seconds.

I know a lot of people who have attempted suicide and a number that have succeeded. I am happy for those who are still here and sad that those who succeeded didn’t find the help they needed to keep them on this planet.

The WHO started this day to bring out of the shadows issues in mental health in hopes to help people and start a conversation. In the past the themes have been mental health in the work place and depression among many others.

This one is a bit more of a hot button because it is a frank discussion of something that seems to be only spoken about in hushed tones in the dark.

I have heard suicide described as a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

When one is suicidal, there doesn’t seem to be an up or an out available. It can be overwhelming.

When I was feeling suicidal, I couldn’t see that what I thought was an insurmountable problem was only a temporary bump in the road. Looking back I can see why I would think that at the time but glad that I got past it and continued on my journey.

When I look at what I would have missed if I had succeeded, I am so grateful that I didn’t. The biggest being that there would be no Caroline in the world and I really think that the world would be a darker place without her.

This past Monday I went to a celebration of Stan Lee’s life and an after party where I caught up with a lot of friends that I would never had made if I had ended my life.

There is so much that I have to look forward in my life. So many adventures that I know I will have. I am in a good place for the most part right now and when things take a dark turn, I hold onto that hope and knowledge that it will get better.

I am grateful I didn’t succeed.

Monday Morning Musings Kitty Politics

This morning we had a round of what is the pecking order with various cats expressing their displeasure at other cats. Phoebe started it going after Inky who was having none of it. Right now things seem to have sorted out and each cat is pretty much in their normal nap spot.

Peter was at NYCC yesterday signing at the Marvel Booth. We have a function we are attending today in the city so he stayed in overnight and Caroline and I will be joining him this afternoon.

Wednesday is Yom Kipper and Caroline has off from school.

Then there is the rest of the week with its various activities.

This weekend I didn’t get as much finished as I would like so I know I need to work on that but not castigate myself for it. That leads me into a downward spiral I don’t need in my life right now.

I feel back in balance for the first time in a long time. I just need to figure out how to stay here.

And we were back to kitty politics. Fig is having none of the kitten attacks and has growled Phoebe away from her.

I am grateful for opportunities and adventures.

LJ Idol Season 11 Week 2 Living In Your Head Rent Free

Ann Landers once said, “Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent free in your head.”

It could be a politician who just grates on you and is the opposite of everything thing you believe is good and true.

It could be the doofus who cut you off in traffic and almost caused you to be involved in an accident or the LOL or LOM who insists on going five miles under the speed limit on a road where you cannot pass them.

It could be the creators of your favorite TV show who took your favorite character and made them something that you know they are not or ruining your fanfic.

It could be your neighbor’s yappy dog or parrot.

There are a lot of things that can live in your head and not all of them should be there.

I had to learn how to let go of resentment. It was not easy to do and it took me into almost my 30s before I did learn how to do it. And there are still times that I find people and things living in my head rent-free until I evict them from my head.

I don’t know if it is part of growing older or that I have trained my mind to let things go which was hard to do.

It was learn that or just go mad. I use to have all kinds of people and situations living rent-free. People who got jobs I thought I should have gotten. Jobs were things went wrong. I would blame myself for not getting that job or screwing up and would dwell on what I did wrong or thought I did wrong.

I use to getting upset when people vented on me when I hadn’t done anything to warrant it. In theater this happens a lot and the stage manager pretty much has a bull’s eye on their backs.

I have to thank my mentor at the Yale School of Drama, Mo, for giving me advice that I live by to this day. She said, “Not everyone you work with is going to be your friend and friendships have to stop at the door of the rehearsal hall or stage door. You have to treat everyone as professionals and equals even when they are being toddlers. Also when people yell or get angry with you and you haven’t done anything to warrant it, they are getting out some frustration that you had nothing to do with so let them yell, let them know they have been listened to and heard but let it roll off your back like water on a duck.”

That changed how I looked at the world and my colleges and helped me become a much better stage managers and person.

A lot of voices left my head after that. I didn’t carry around resentment that I had been. My mental health improved.

Now I only have the occasional visitor and they do not stay long.

Moving Forward and Not Looking Back

I tend not to dwell on the past. It is a learned behavior because I use to let things that happened in the past overwhelms me.

I learn from my past but I don’t live there.

I know people who do. It is the one chance that got away. If only I had… When I was…

They live in the past where they felt they were at the top of their game or their best self.

I have never felt that I have achieved my best self or work. There is always room for improvement. There is always something to learn. I am unfinished clay that will be worked until I expire.

There are skills I have pretty much perfected but I still learn new ways of doing things along with new materials that make my life easier.

I am always willing to teach how I do what I do. I am always willing to learn from others.

I have so much to look forward to in my life. I have so much I want to do and so much to do.

I am grateful for all the adventures I have awaiting me.

Book tour wrap-up

https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/09/25/book-tour-wrap-up/

http://blog.xkcd.com/?p=1005

Thank you to everyone who came to events on my book tour! It was a wild ride visiting so many cities in short succession. Thank you so much to the booksellers, venues, and especially to the wonderful people who co-hosted the tour events with me: Kate Darling, Alexandra Petri, Lev Grossman, Jim Ottaviani, Ken Jennings, Adam Savage, Ariel Waldman, Cory Doctorow, Kyle Hill, Bill Amend, Dean Regas, Sean Cannon, and Katie Mack.

In addition to the above, I got to meet so many other cool people during the tour, including Simone Giertz, Scott Manley, and lots of researchers, engineers, science-enthusiast kids, and other people working on all kinds of neat stuff. And thank you to everyone who waited an extra 5 minutes to get a book signed because there was a seismologist in line and I couldn’t stop myself from asking them a bunch of questions about earthquakes.

A picture from my conversation with writer Alexandra Petri in Washington, DC

If you weren’t able to make it to any of my tour events, How To is now available everywhere, including at Barnes and Noble, Target, Amazon, local independents, and more. Some Barnes and Noble locations and indies have special signed copies, so you can check with your bookseller to see if those are available.

Shana Tova

 Dusting off the old blog to wish all those that ovserve a shana tova, a good new year as the Jewish year 5779 rolls over into 5780.  May the old year and its curses end.  May the new year and its blessings arrive.

Hope everyone out there is hanging in,  I am pretty much the same as I have been for a while, just not using Dreamwidth much (who is?).  

LJ Idol Season 11 Week 1: Resolution

I am a published author as is my husband. We have both taught writing courses. I am also a book editor and have read a lot of manuscripts both long and short. My husband has a book about writing entitled Writing Comics and Graphic Novels with Peter David . We know a bit about writing.

One thing I have found having both through writing and editing is a lot of people don’t understand how to resolve a story. They have a good beginning and a fair middle but totally lose it at the end.

The resolution is the part of the story's plot where the main problem is resolved or worked out. The resolution occurs after the falling action and is typically where the story ends.

Most stories are written in three parts. An Introduction where you set up the conflict and introduce the reader to the characters and the world. Then you ramp it with the confrontation or conflict, which can be trickier to write than the resolution at times but a lot of people seem to be able to do that. Then the resolution is the conclusion where you give your reader the end of the story.

Here’s the trick, it is the end of the story. Give your reader some form of an ending. Don’t make it opened ended where they have no satisfaction from reading your work. I have rejected more than one manuscript because the writer wanted to make it a three novel series so they leave everything open. Readers don’t like that.

Concentrate on that one short story or novel. If you get the chance to expand, great that’s a good thing. Always have ideas in your back-pocket.

Resolution gives the reader a feeling of accomplishment that they read the entire story and it was not a waste of their time.

As an editor I can help a writer improve their story but my time is valuable and if I am buy for a publisher, I need stories ready to print. Not stories that need serious help before they are seen in public. And a lack of resolution is one of my hard no’s. If the author hasn’t figured out how to finish the story why should I as the potential editor?

Writing a resolution to a story may not be easy but it must be done.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have wanted to ask a book editor, I am here to teach.